Today I am inspired. And I’m not just a little bit inspired like when you watch a 3min Dove Beauty Ad. Today, I am inspired about life… for life.
My day consisted of living life well. I caught up with my gorgeous old friends. Hung out with their beautiful family. The husband inspired me to fall in love. He loves her dearly. Her children are so precious in their innocence. I’m so clucky I could blow up into a thousand glitter pieces and float away with the north by northerly wind. It’s a gale force wind this thing called passion. Once it gets you, it takes you. Far. Far. Far away. From dwelling on it.
To dwell or not to dwell? That is damn question. I cannot for the life of me understand why the fff.. I mean, hell – I wasted my life running from myself. Running away from believing in the potential of the girl that every one else could see! They would tell me everyday. ‘Emeli, you are amazing. You are so beautiful…’
Well, its taken me 30+ years. And I ain’t dwelling on it no more. So what was it that I was dwelling on? If I had the time, this might turn into my first novel (to be continued I’m sure). Yet to put into a few words it was… my fear of fear. I was so scared. I was so scared you could all see me hiding. I felt like everyone could see that I didn’t believe in myself. That I thought I was ugly. That I could never lose weight. That I never thought it possible I would fall in love and be loved back. That I had no money. That life had wronged me. I missed my parents. I wish they were alive. I knew you could see the pain in me – masked by determination to go on. It’s not like that anymore. I am not hiding. I was all of those things. I still am. I am fake, arrogant, too cool and too loud. Guess what? So are you. So what? I am much more than that too. And guess what? So are you.
We all hide. Or have hidden. Yet, you don’t need too. There’s no shame in admitting it. It moves you. Permission to be all that you are. On every level and every way. No need to dwell no more. It’s time to leave that place. It’s calling your name at the internal airport of acceptance. Lets not delay the flight to your life. You only get one ticket. Go to the place you’ve dreamt of. Live the life you’ve imagined…
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